You Can't Pay Chuck to Give a Fuck

I still think Dan Bilzerian is my number 1 role model but Charles Barkley is coming in at a closer number 2 after his recent performances on TNT. You might think it's weird that my top two role models are a retired NBA player and a crazy ass Navy Seal turned poker player because they don't have a whole lot in common. But let me tell you something, Charles Barkley and Dan Bilzerian have two of the most important priorities in check - they've got beaucoup dólares in the bank account and they don't have a fuck to give between them. 

If you don't know what I'm talking about, last week Chuck made some "turrible" comments about how basically all the women in San Antonio are fat heifers that love to eat churros...  

Pure quality - He dropped gems like, "a place where Victoria is definitely a secret," and, "a gold mine for Weight Watchers," and of course, the churro guzzling. Naturally, however, since our country has 0 sense of humor, all the obesity groups and feminists were outraged by Barkley's off color commentary. He got so much flack that TNT wanted him to issue an apology for his comments, but Charles, being the red-blooded American that he is, just fired back with a big ol' fuck you to anyone who doesn't like what he had to say. 

Check it out. 

Normally, I would tell you that this guy doesn't have the sense that God gave a clam, but this is just 100% spot on. He basically said - you don't like me, PC America? Well, go fuck yourself because I don't like you either. You want me to say I'm sorry? "Dat's not gon' happen. If y'all waitin' on an apology, Hell gon' freeze over." Charles knows that if you let them smell fear, if you issue even a half-assed apology, they're going to pounce all over you. Lawsuits, forced resignation, the whole 9-yards. So instead, he just came out swinging and let all these 'don't offend anyone' people know he wasn't playing around and guess what? None of these pussies like a fight, they just like to bitch, so they all ran back to their non-offensive, play fair pussy fairyland because they didn't want to mess with big bad Chuck Barkley shoving churros down by the handful. The best part of all of this is Shaq just boisterously laughing at everything Charles says. They're like the two class clowns that just feed off each other and the producer trying to start the music and cut to commercial to get Charles to shut up is the teacher. Just hilarity across the board with this one - CHURROS ON THE HOUSE!